Moments In Time Page 16

  He came into the bedroom and sat at the bottom of the bed, not looking at her. Finally he said, “When are you scheduled for this little operation?”

  “Today.” She could barely utter the one-word response, her throat had suddenly become achingly dry.

  “Today?” He turned toward her. “Did you just not go?”

  “Oh, I went, all right,” she replied, twisting the tissue in her hands, still unable to make eye contact with him. “I left. I couldn’t do it.”

  “Why not?” He wanted her to tell him she wanted the child, needed to hear her say it.

  She shook her head slowly side to side. “I was so confused. I could think of twenty good reasons not to have this baby, under the circumstances. I tried to be so rational about it. I’m not in a position to raise a child alone. My family would be absolutely shattered. Things would be too hard, both for me and for the baby. Everything told me it would be easier to just eliminate the problem and get on with my life. But in my heart, I knew it wasn’t right for me. Something inside wouldn’t let me go through with it.”

  “I still don’t understand why you didn’t tell me, Maggie.”

  “I tried to tell you. I wanted to tell you. I was so upset, Jamey, so frightened and confused, and my head was spinning. And when I did talk to you, I didn’t know how to say it and we’d ended up arguing. So I thought I’d just wait till you got here last week, but you didn’t come home, and when I asked you why, you were evasive and brushed me off, like it was none of my business, and everytime I talked to you, all I could think of was that things were like they were before we met, that you were doing all the things you used to do and that there was someone in L.A. that you couldn’t bear to leave…” The jumble of words poured out, the tears she’d tried so hard to swallow back strangling her.

  He moved up to sit next to her, put his arms around her, and cradled her head on his chest, his eyes stinging at the anguish of her sobs. “There’s never been anyone but you, Maggie. Not in L.A., not in Houston or St. Louis or Dallas or Miami or anyplace else.”

  “That’s what I used to think, but then you were acting so strangely and didn’t come home…”

  “I thought I’d have this great surprise for you, you know? I thought it would be great fun to come in and drop this tape in your lap and you’d be delighted to hear your song on the album.” He sighed deeply. “It never occurred to me that you’d have an even bigger surprise for me.” He rocked her gently in his arms. “Maggie, do you want this baby?”

  She shook her head yes. “More than anything in this world.”

  “Did it never occur to you to ask me if I would want it, too?”

  “At first it did. But last week, this week, I wasn’t thinking that you’d be interested. All I could think of was that you’d abandoned me and that I’d have to make the decision for myself.” She seemed embarrassed by the admission.

  “Did you think I’d never know? That I’d never find out?”

  “I didn’t think that far ahead,” she conceded sheepishly. “Things seemed to be happening so quickly, and the doctor told me if I was going to do it, I should do it as soon as possible…”

  “Don’t fathers have any rights in this sort of thing?”

  “No,” she told him bluntly.

  “Doesn’t seem quite fair.” He felt unexpectantly indignant at the inequity.

  “How do you feel about it, now that you know?” she asked, shyly hesitant.

  “Well, I was thinking about it while I was out walking about. I can’t say honestly that I’d have planned it to happen now. But since it’s a fact of our lives, I think we should have it.” He paused somberly, then grinned a slow smile of satisfaction. “Actually, I’m quite taken with the idea of this small person growing so quietly inside you. And we were getting married anyway, so we’ll just move the date up a bit.”

  “Maybe we should talk about that.” She squirmed a little to sit up.

  “You’re right. When do you want to do it?”

  “Jamey, I really think you should have some time to think about this. I don’t ever want to feel that you married me because I was pregnant.” She broke free from the circle of his arms to look at him. There was still a sadness in her eyes, an uncertainty that he could not define.

  “Maggie, I wanted to marry you before you were pregnant,” he reminded her.

  “Yes, but that was before I was,” she sniffed.

  “That’s what I just said.” He stared at her wide-eyed, absolutely befuddled.

  “Well, it changes things, Jamey.” She leaned across him to reach the box of tissues on the bedside table. She took one and blew her nose, took a second and dabbed her eyes.

  “Yes, it means that this time next year there’ll be three of us instead of two.” He did not know where this conversation was leading, and it was confusing him.

  “Well, suppose you wanted to change your mind now. You’d feel that you couldn’t and you’d feel obligated to do it anyway.”

  “I’m not going to change my mind. I never had changed my mind. It’s what I wanted to do all along. How could I change my mind?” What, he wondered, controlled the thought process of this woman’s mind?

  “That’s my point. You wouldn’t even if you wanted to.” He pulled back and raised her face to look directly at him. “Let me see if I’ve got this straight. When you weren’t pregnant, you agreed to marry me. But now that you are pregnant, you don’t think we should. Is that what you’ve just said?”

  “Yes.”

  “Maggie…” Totally bewildered, he groped for words. “That makes no bloody sense at all.”

  “Of course it makes sense. I’m afraid someday you’ll think it was a mistake, that you were trapped.”

  “Jesus.” He was shaking his head, not knowing whether to laugh or shout. “Maggie, I love you more than anything in this life. I always will. Baby or no baby. I wanted to marry you before I knew about the baby and I want to marry you now that I do—let me know if I’m going too fast for you.” She smiled weakly. He moved closer, laying down and bringing her near, caressing her arm.

  “Do you love me, Maggie?” he asked softly.

  “Yes. I love you very much,” she sniffed.

  “Will you marry me?” he asked with deliberate patience.

  “Yes,” she told him with a teary attempt to smile.

  “Thank God we got that straightened out.” He sighed with mock exasperation and pulled her to him, both of them laughing softly.

  “You all right now, sweetheart? Come here, closer to me. I need to hold you. God, but that feels good, Maggie, it’s been so long and this has all been so terrible…”

  They talked long into the night. He told her how he’d been trying to talk the record company into letting them record “Sweet, Sweet Maggie,” but the management didn’t want them to do a single. They wanted one last album out of this suddenly hot band and had tried every possible means to get the group to agree to stay together for one more twelvemonth period. When that failed, they went back and forth, the bottom line being no album, no studio time. J.D. had been forced to use all the music he’d written over the past few months, all the songs he’d hoped to use for a first solo album, and had little time to complete the arrangements to his satisfaction. They finally got some recording time in several studios in the last three cities, finishing up the last four songs in L.A. The schedule had been grueling, recording day and night for a week, working excruciatingly long hours while keeping to the concert schedule in the evenings.

  “Will I hear my song on the radio?” she asked, considering this for the first time.

  “Quite possibly. It will be released as a single within the next month or so.”

  “Where will we live?” she asked, changing the subject abruptly.

  “Where would you like to live?” He propped himself up on one elbow, not the least surprised when she replied, “Here.”

  “Here? In this apartment? Might get a bit crowded, what with a crib and a playpen…” He
looked around skeptically.

  “I meant somewhere around here. Can we afford a little house?”

  “We can afford more than a little house, Maggie,” he replied with some amusement, realizing that she was oblivious to his financial status. His sister Judith’s husband, Ned, a broker in London, had been investing his money for him from the very beginning of his career. Even back in the Daily Times days, when he’d made practically nothing for those early performances, half went to Ned to invest. As a consequence of his prudence, which was at the insistence of his sister—it would never have occurred to the seventeen-year-old J.D.—money was not an issue.

  “Maybe I could contact a realtor and have someone look around for us,” she suggested.

  “That’s fine, but just keep in mind that we won’t always be here,” he cautioned.

  “Where will we be?”

  “I’ll need to be in London a bit of the time. My record company is there. A lot of the people I’ll need to work with are there. My family is nearby. And truthfully, I’m not certain that I’m ready to become a full-time Yank.”

  “Will we have to live there?”

  “No, but we’ll need a place to stay from time to time. We have lots of time to think about that, though, and you’ll have plenty of time to look around to find an area you like.”

  “When do we have to go?”

  “After the wedding… And don’t make it sound as if this is a trip to Hades we’re talking about. Why the lack of enthusiasm? Is there some reason why you don’t want to make this trip?”

  “Yes.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “I hate to fly,” she admitted reluctantly.

  “You’ve made a number of flights over the past few months,” he reminded her.

  “None of them went over the ocean. And I was desperate.”

  “Well, then, you’ll just have to get desperate again, Maggie,” he laughed, “because you’ll go where I go.”

  “I’ll have to quit my job,” she thought aloud.

  “I suggest you do that as soon as possible. Like first thing tomorrow morning,” he instructed.

  “And I guess we need to talk about another date…”

  “Well, what did you tell your parents?”

  “I didn’t tell them anything. I thought I’d wait until they met you.”

  “You mean they’ll be totally unprepared for any of this?” He pushed himself up onto an elbow, suddenly realizing there was yet another problem to be dealt with. He would have to meet her family on the same day they’d receive some unwelcome news.

  “I’ll have to tell them this weekend.” She went white at the thought.

  “This weekend is out,” he told her. “I’ll be in Toronto. And I want you to promise me you’ll wait till I can go with you.”

  “No, no.” She shook her head adamantly. “I have to do this by myself.”

  “Absolutely not. You’ll wait until I can get back to go with you. We’ll talk to them together.”

  “No.” She was emphatic, and he knew she was imagining the scene that would follow her announcement.

  “Don’t argue with me on this, Maggie. That’s the end of it. You just find out what we need to do, make whatever arrangements you like—”

  “Don’t you want any input into this?”

  “Nope. You just tell me where and when. I’ll be there.”

  “What about your family?”

  “My mother would never fly over, not even for this. She has never set foot in a plane and probably never will. Judith will definitely be here.”

  “You’d better see if she’s free.”

  “She’ll be here if she has to swim.” He shrugged confidently.

  “What day next week will you be back?”

  “I’m not certain. There was some talk of adding another date. The place where we’re booked isn’t too large, and the promoter was hoping to book in another show. But I should be back to go to your parents with you on the following weekend. We’ll talk to them then.”

  She averted her eyes.

  “And get that look off your face. I know what you’re thinking. We will tell them together, Maggie.”

  “Has it occurred to you that maybe I know better than you how to deal with my family?” She had the look of someone who had the task of explaining something tedious to a small child.

  “It wouldn’t be right for you to have to face them with this by yourself. Maggie, you were concerned about simply bringing me home to meet them. I don’t want you taking the heat for this by yourself.”

  “I’ve taken the heat under that roof many a time.”

  “For what it’s worth, I think you’re wrong. I know you’ll do as you damn well please, Maggie, but I’m asking you to wait.”

  She lay staring at the ceiling, and he watched as a tiny smile danced ever so slightly across her lips.

  “What’s that for?” he inquired.

  “I was just wondering what he’ll look like.”

  “Who?”

  “Jesse.”

  “Who’s Jesse?”

  “The baby.” She smiled up at him.

  He looked down into her eyes and then laughed out loud. “Who told you it was a he?” he asked, amused by her nonchalant pronouncement.

  “It is,” she assured him.

  “And who decided that his name would be Jesse?”

  “Don’t you like it?”

  “Well, yes, I do, but you have a fifty-fifty chance of being wrong, you know,” he reminded her.

  She shook her head, indicating she was not.

  “Jesse’s a good name,” he conceded, “and fortunately it will do just as well for a girl as for a boy. Just in case.”

  “I’m not wrong.” She smiled confidently, but even she had no way of knowing that her prediction would be correct or that she’d just as accurately, uncannily, predict each of her subsequent seven pregnancies.

  15

  HILARY’S VOICE SEEMED TO BE DRONING ON AND ON. Maggie had tuned out and was not inclined to tune back in. She glanced over and noticed that Hilary appeared to be overtly flirting with Jamey now, though to his credit, he seemed not to notice. He’s always been good at warding off the advances of other women, she thought, or at least I thought he was. Maybe he’s been fooling around all this time, and I was too stupid to see it. Maybe he and Glory have been doing this for years, right under my nose and I never caught on. She flushed at the thought, her anger rising all over again.

  Maybe her father had been right about him all along. From the day he found out that Maggie was pregnant, Frank wanted to break J.D.’s neck. Of course, he had blamed J.D.—God only knew what line the SOB had used to sweet-talk his daughter into his bed. That had surely been one of the hardest things I ever had to do—telling them that I, their daughter, their beloved Maggie, was pregnant and by whom…

  The drive to her parents’ house that weekend was the longest trip she’d ever made. She dreaded the scene she knew would take place more than she had ever dreaded anything. How in the name of God, she wondered, could she bear to break the news.

  Her stomach contracted tightly as she turned onto the old familiar street, and for a fleeting minute she thought of turning back to Philadelphia. Right now, eloping sounded like a great idea. She could fly to Toronto…

  Her heart flopped over when she pulled into the driveway and saw both parents on the front porch. By the time she’d taken a deep breath and opened the car door, they were both almost to the car. She got out and greeted them nervously, hugging first her father, then her mother, unconsciously holding her for a moment or so longer than she normally would have.

  Mary Elizabeth drew back slightly, studying her daughter carefully.

  “Where’s Kevin?” Maggie asked, averting her eyes and swallowing hard.

  “He’s at Joey’s.” Mary Elizabeth’s gaze never left Maggie’s face. “He should be back by lunchtime.”

  Frank, oblivious to the tension, called across the street to a neighbor as
mother and daughter walked into the house.

  “Where’s Colleen?”

  “Softball practice. She’ll be back later this afternoon.”

  Maggie sat down at the kitchen table and sipped at the coffee her mother had poured for her. Her stomach was queasy and the smell of the coffee was almost making her sick. She could feel Mary Elizabeth watching her.

  “Maggie, what is it? Tell me what’s wrong,” she asked gently.

  Maggie’s eyes filled, and soon a steady stream of tears followed each other pell-mell down her face. She fought for words, though none would come. Her father walked through the back door and stood motionless as he took in the scene. Mary Elizabeth looked at him with anxious concern, stunned by Maggie’s stillness. Silent tears had never been her style.

  Her mother sat down next to her and took her in her arms, trying to comfort her.

  “I’ll be okay. I am okay. Just give me a minute. This is so hard for me. And I’m not doing it very well. I really thought I could handle this by myself, but maybe Jamey was right and this was not a good idea. But you know how I get sometimes, I always have to do things my own way but now I’m wondering…” she babbled.

  “Maggie, for God’s sake, what are you talking about?” Her mother took her by the shoulders and forced her to look up.

  Maggie took a deep breath and said quietly, “Jamey and I are getting married in two weeks. Two weeks from today.”

  Her parents exchanged a look of surprise and puzzlement.

  “Maggie, if you feel this strongly about the man, why don’t you just bring him home and give us some time to get to know the fellow,” her father said.

  “Time is something we don’t have a lot of right now…” Maggie looked up at her mother and could tell by Mary Elizabeth’s expression that she knew.

  “Oh, Maggie…” Her mother’s hand reached toward hers but did not touch the fingers that lay splayed across the end of the table, gripping its edge.

  “I’m so sorry. I know this is the last thing you’d ever have expected from me. I hate having to tell you…”